How to love a black man better in Society & in Parternship….


How to love a black men better in Society & Partnership

How to love a black man better? Love them . 

It’s hard for us to accept their insecurities, because in our eyes they are undefeated soldiers.** I’ve never regretted giving a black man my love. Platonically or romantically. Everyone who has received my love deserved it. Black men don’t easily express their feelings and if they do- they try to detach their emotions . 

When you love something. You treat it with care. 

I am no expert. I was raised by a black man ( and women), My brother is a black man, I am raising a black man, I have loved a black man and I am in love with a black man. 

I am a Queen and I love my women, its important for us to stick together and empower one another. This piece doesn’t negate anything that women do . We are building a community of amazing , inspirational women who uplift each other- but who uplifts our Kings?

 A black man has expectations placed on him the moment he has entered this world. He has to protect his family and provide for his family. From a young age survivial skills are adapted since many black men are raised by single mothers. They grow up watching their mother working hard and immediately feel the need to help. While the feelings and emotions of a child are supposed to be developing, he is learning how to be the “Man of the House.” You can’t be a child and a man…. He knows his mom loves him, of course he does- She’s the first person on this earth to love him. Did he grow up with his father present and pouring words of encouragement into him daily? Did his father teach him how to manage his emotions and be empathetic towards others ? Did he have a father figure in his life to show him how to manage his feelings, or did his peers raise him? There are so many black fathers who are active in their children life now, and its even more important that they know how to TEACH love so this cycle doesn’t continue. Black men have such a diverse background but there’s one common factor in all. And it is that they needed more love. They needed to be told that they will succeed, that they are beautiful, and that its ok to cry. They need to be told that they are young kings, they are valuable and they are appreciated. Some men did receive this type of upbringing but what about the ones who didn’t? So now we have to do that for them. We have to ensure that our young black men will grow up knowing they are incredible individuals and surround them with love. Our black men should know how much we appreciate their evolving selves. They aren’t perfect but they are warriors and have endured so much. This isn’t only in relationships but in all interactions. When we speak to Black men there should be no fear, no judgment or negative energy. We should be warm and welcoming, to help them release their guard just a little bit. We should look them in their eyes, speak to them with confidence and respect. The same way we would interact with any other human. But we don’t know what this man has survived and endured so remembering they may need just a little more love can make the world of difference. We don’t need to to coddle them or treat them as victims, we need to treat them like we love them. 

IN LOVE is another level. 

Having a black man as a partner is a blessing. He is a King and deserves to be treated like one. A KING treats his Queen with the upmost respect and thus submission comes easily. Loving a black man takes a strong woman and their end goal together has to be the same. Have you ever loved someone who doesn’t love themselves ? And not because they don’t feel worthy, but because they don’t know how. Loving a black man involves teaching him how to love you and himself. Patience and communication is important in every relationship, but a black man should be reassured that you are his unconditional supporter. This love and support will not go unnoticed , in return he will trust you with his heart. The journey of him accepting your love will not be smooth sailing, as he is not used to having someone invested in his life- he doesn’t understand why someone would want the best for them and see them thrive in life. This will cause friction in the relationship because women are so willing to give love and want to feel loved- when dealing with someone who isn’t used to that, and lack of communication skills.. a disaster can be brewing. This is where the strength of the women is important . We have to pick our battles, our men are fighting everyday against everything else, he shouldn’t have to fight with us as well. This doesn’t mean let a man walk over you, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a voice for yourself, and Im not telling anyone to endure any type of abuse. However, every disagreement doesn’t need to end in a fight, sometimes you can let him know that you respect how he feels and love on him. When was the last time you let him express himself without you trying to prove you’re right or have the last word? It doesn’t happen often. Trust me I know (guilty). Loving a black man is a commitment but the love you receive from a black man is one of the most powerful feelings in the world. It takes a little more work to achieve but nothing is more fulfilling than black love. Be his partner and let him lead, but also show him you have everything under control. Allow him to express his feelings, make him feel comfortable discussing emotions and exploring himself. He’s never had anyone in his life to speak to on that level, so you hold a valuable place in his life, it’s important to make sure our black men feel like their hearts are safe with us.  Tell him he’s handsome, tell him he’s valuble, show him you love him and always please him sexually. Small acts of love go a long way, and making your black man feel like the King that he is, is part of your duty as his significant other. And you should receive the same in return. 

This piece is not relationship advice. This piece is a reminder that Black men need our attention, not only while we are dating but in society.  I have a lot of growing and learning to achieve myself; these are just my observations as a 30 year old black women in America who feels like our black men need more love & we are the ones who should give it to them.

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